Won the battle, but the war goes on...Day 12

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So...I did not die Tuesday night! No spiders, either. Within my view, anyway. I knew you would all be relieved to hear the news.
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Today, however, there was a mighty skirmish which could have been the beginning of the end for the LIMFAC Rebellion. (Although, honestly, I believe any skirmish lost could bring about the end of the rebellion.) It began when I was in the first half mile of my jog (-the most dangerous part of any run, emotionally!! If I can get through mile one, I can move on!) I was deciding how far to run, so I could figure how fast to pace myself. That's particularly funny because my paces are slow, agonizingly slow, and slower-than-my-walk slow. At any rate, were I to choose "slow" I'd run out of steam pretty quickly, and want to be closer to home, but at "agonizingly slow" I can last longer. I decided I'd do 2 miles ("slow"), because I didn't feel I could go further today. I was pretty content with this decision, too, until this little interior person poked me in the conscience and said "Don't feel you CAN do it?? As in, physically unable?? You are LIMFAC-ing your run?? And this is okay??" Stupid little person. Yes, I had to agree with myself, that is definitely a self-imposed limit. If I can do 2 miles, I can do 3, or 4, or 5. Sagely (in my opinion) I chose 4, and not 5...which was better than the three I had left the house planning to do, and considerably better than the two I had decided were my physical limit.

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Here's where the battle began. My body rebelled. Not my whole body, mind you, just my knee, but it was frightening how quickly the rest of my body parts followed...they were so easily led by any foolish excuse! "We" were about a third of the way through the run, when my knee started whining, and rudely informed me that it would be dropping out of the run soon. The rest of us could carry on, but it was not going the full 4 miles. Then so much of my body joined in...my foot had a blister, my arms were just tired, my legs agreed with my knee, let's shorten this jog...and my conscious decision making mind...oh foolish mind...I won't tell you how complete this revolt was becoming (how easily they all turned against me! And in only a matter of minutes!) Finally I firmly told my knee to suck it up, we weren't stopping. If we had to limp along dragging it behind we would, but one way or another we would continue at this (now slower-than-my-walk) pace.

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And guess what? My knee fell for the bluff. And the rest of my body started towing the line as well. As I forged my run (and I think forging is an apt term here....as I was moving through hot molten steel desires to WALK home...) I ended up having to "trick" my mind and body into the 4 miles, by running a few circuitous loops in the middle which I don't normally include, instead of adding a mile at the end...and I let myself do the shady half mile twice as a reward! Does it seem a little scary to you that, while being fully aware of what I am doing, and more or less in complete control of my faculties, my conscious mind could trick my subconscious and my body into believing what I want it to believe? Seems weird to me, but whatever it takes.

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So this particular rebellion was quelled, and like a precision sniper I took out that LIMFAC when it raised its head...but I know tomorrow it will try to sneak back in, again. It dies, and is reborn, daily, like some freaky alien from a B movie. I'm okay with my life being a B movie, though. At least I can read the subtitles. And if I can keep killing that LIMFAC, it won't have an opportunity to grow any bigger!

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I think it was writer David Gerrold (who, by the way, during college wrote the Star Trek episode "The Trouble With Tribbles! My favorite episode:) who put it so nicely..."Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is. The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show." So go ahead B movie, make it interesting. I will be eating popcorn and throwing Reeses Pieces at the people in front of me. :)